What not to tell a new mom

I remember those first few days home with my sweet baby. The smell of her skin, the way what little hair she had tickled my cheek. I remember thinking that in that moment, I could not love anyone as much as I loved her. I also, however, remember the long nights of trying to get her to sleep. I remember the worry I felt in my chest when she still wasn't rolling over or meeting all the milestones that other kids were. I think some of the things I wish I didn't remember are the comments that my 'elders' made to me. You know the more experienced moms that have teenaged or grown children. I remember hearing things like, "Just wait until they are teenagers", or "this is the easy part". At the time I remember thinking to myself that I was weak for thinking that this was so hard when in reality, this was "the easy part." How could I complain when I haven't had a teenager to deal with yet?

Well let me tell you mothers, something I wish I would have told myself a LONG time ago. Don't listen to them! So much negativity coming from some of these people. Although I am sure most of them have good intentions, I just don't think they really stop to think about what they are saying. 

Taking care of a newborn and taking care of a teenager are different struggles. Why compare the two? Why make a new mother feel more discouraged when she is already so worn down? If we are telling you we are tired, it is not so you can tell us to bad, it gets worse. We want encouragement. We want to know that someone else out there understands. I think there are few times in my life where I have needed a reality check, someone to tell me to count my blessings. But this was always done best by someone I love telling me to look at the positive, never by someone telling me it could be worse. That is an instant way for me to harden my heart and get even more downtrodden. 

We as mothers should unite and bring "comfort to those that stand in need of comfort". (Mosiah 18:9) Stop telling us to suck it up and wait for the storm thats ahead. Let us know that, this to shall pass. Tell us to enjoy it because it goes by so quick. As a young mother, unaware of what I was getting myself into at the time, some sympathy would have been so nice. I had a very close friend and mother figure in my life cry with me on the phone when I told her about my youngest son who had colic. The first few months were a dark place for me. I was beyond tired, depressed, frustrated and so much more. She told me about her experience with her daughter, she reminded me that I was not alone. She will never know how much that meant to me. That, as a tired sullen mom, it was exactly what I needed. 

Lets stop criticizing each other and lend a hand to each other. Let us uplift one another in motherhood so that we can all make it out of this with a few less grey hairs.

The sweet girl who was a pretty good baby but kept me up with my thoughts while she was in the NICU for three months. I spent many nights praying that she would make it through.

Then my sweet Mikey. He was early and had a couple weeks in the hospital, which to us seemed great.  He was such a difficult baby though. He would scream and scream. He is still difficult but is easier than he was.