My health...or lack there of

This morning I went to the doctors to discuss some treatment options for a condition of mine; I have started to faint/almost faint on a regular bases when I stand up. It has been scary and we haven't really talked to anyone about it because I didn't know exactly what was going on and if it is something that was permanent. Apparently it is, what the doctors believe to be, a condition called PoTS. Here is an article about that.

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/postural-tachycardia-syndrome-pots-leaflet

Luckily I don't have it super severely and I just have to be very cautious of my salt intake (have eat a ton of salt), water, and get up as slow as a grandma. Even with those precautions I may faint so don't be to surprise if you are around me and it happens. We are still trying to find out why I have it but they do not always find an underline cause. They believe mine could be related to my prolonged amount of time on bed rest with my last pregnancy.

Which brings me to the next topic on my mind

 Having babies has made me, someone who once was super healthy, active and happy with herself, feel broken. From PCOS and hormonal problems, HG (violently ill throughout entire pregnancy) and 6 months of bed rest which led to a host of other problems such as losing bone mass, weight gain that I have been unable to loose, and PoTs (some of which I am just learning about) I have asked myself on rough days if I did the right thing. Of course I always end with a resounding yes, but still, it has really put me through quite a lot and hasn't left me feeling super great.

I am so glad on rough days that heavenly father decided to send me a super snugly little boy!

Okay lastly I have been seeing a psychiatrist for a while now for my PTSD symptoms. I didn't even know I had PTSD until a couple years ago but it wasn't surprising to find out considering my past. It is really helping to find out my triggers and work through ways of feeling safe again. It feels great to feel more in control of my emotions and to understand them. Especially in the areas of anxiety/depression. I feel like there are times in my life where people where not seeing the real me, they would be seeing a reaction to something they did and neither them or I would understand why I was being 'emotional'. Things such as someone raising their voice, even in excitement (but especially frustration), would set off alarms and put me in flight or fight mode. Luckily knowing these things and others now helps me not to get set off easily (mostly) and helps me have better relationships with others.

So why, you might ask, am I telling the world all of this?
One, because I feel like if you and I are going to be friends you should know these things. If I have to cancel a plan on you it may be because I have fainted or because I am feeling unsafe. I am never doing it because I am flaking out and I will always be there when anyone needs me. It also helps you to better understand who I am.

Two, I think to often people don't talk about their problems, especially when it comes to mental health. It should never be something people are ashamed of because then people will refuse to get help. I know, trust me. Be open about your struggles and rely on friends and family who care and want to be invested in you to get better. I have a great support system outside of the normal 'family' that most people have. With both parents in heaven now I rely heavily on my husband and others I consider family to be my support system.

Anyways, feel free to ask me questions in a private message, phone call, etc. Some of this may be news to you and others will feel as though they have wasted their time because they know all of this. :) If you are reading this and feel like you have no one to talk to about your condition (be it mental or physical) please reach out to me or someone else you trust. You would be surprised with how many people are struggling in silence.